Motherhood,
business, politics.
I can identify closely with each of the above, yes, I’m a
mother, a businesswoman and I am fascinated by politics. But there are other,
possibly equally important aspects of my being –sports fan, widow, comic (I
think I’m very funny sometimes), writer, friend….
Tory leadership candidate Andrea Leadsom’s faux pas in
trying to attack her opponent Theresa May on her childless status in her recent
Times newspaper interview is at best tactless and insensitive and at worst
(hopefully) political suicide.
Or will it be political suicide? How many ‘yummy mummies’
will see this as a good enough reason to favour an apparently inexperienced
chancer with a flexible attitude to truth over a heavyweight cabinet minister
with nearly two decades in top tier politics.
I have had the privilege during my career to have met and
worked with some phenomenal women, and their motherhood status has never been a
consideration. Please judge us by what we do, how we behave and not our fertility
or desire to reproduce.
I am becoming increasingly weary with the martyr approach
to motherhood. Firstly being a mother is a gift – a precious gift – but not a
badge of honour. There are hordes of women who ache to be mothers but for a
variety of reasons this has just not happened. Most of these women live
fruitful, fulfilling and happy lives. There are equally as many women who have
chosen not have children yet find themselves unreasonably having to explain
their decision – often to strangers who have no right to ask the question in
the first place.
Leadsom’s premise that having children makes her care more
than her opponent about the future of the country is, in my opinion, offensive
and erroneous.
The motherhood mafia is epitomised by the website Mumsnet.
While I concede that this site offers support and help for many mothers, the
core of this concept is that motherhood is especially challenging. Yes, it can
be tough, but no tougher than climbing the greasy pole in the workplace,
managing a difficult relationship with your partner, caring for an elderly
relative, coping with a needy friend, juggling finances and every other rose
petal or thorn in the pot pouri that is life.
A quick glance at Mumsnet today offers the following
headline, ‘Does anyone else not enjoy
the newborn stage?’ Duh? Does anyone enjoy interrupted nights, your precious
little bundle regurgitating his or her food over your shoulder just as you’ve
changed into your best top, stinking nappies etc etc? But does anyone enjoy
that first smile, gurgle, giggle, look of wonder at the world around them? Of
course you do – it all goes with the territory – it is nature and it’s nothing
new. So please get over it.
Another section of this site for mothers advises the
readers how to ‘survive’ a car journey with toddlers. Survive? Are we being
just a touch dramatic ladies?
Possibly the most annoying section of the
motherhood community is those mums in cafés and restaurants who feel that it is
necessary for some reason to speak to their little darlings just a few decibels
higher than is really necessary, while parking their designer buggies right in
front of the exit or route to the loos. Loosely translated their high pitched meanderings
come across as ‘look at me – I’ve pro-created’
I don’t care if the next prime minister is
male or female, married or single, gay or straight. What I do care is that they
are the best person for the job, that they will have integrity and demonstrate
the ability to negotiate and lead. Most of all, the successful candidate should
not try to take personal credit for some good
fortune that nature has bestowed upon them.
And a final word for Ms Leadsom – if you
are successful in leading the Tory party – you’ll need to build a good
relationship with one of the most powerful and respected women of this millennium
so far – Angela Merkel, Chancellor of Germany. Oh – and you might want to take
note – Ms Merkel has no children.
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